Bulletin from the Gnomeregan Gnews Gnetwork, Re: The Ice Stone

June 23, 2010 § 4 Comments

I wrote this during the great Ice Stone disaster of 2009 back before I started this blog.  Originally it was posted in a Tankspot thread, but I thought I’d post it over here.  I know it’s not timely or particularly topical but I did the midsummer festival event today and was reminded of it when I caused the Ice Stone to melt when I summoned Lord Ahune.  Also I think it’s a pretty funny post I thought I’d share it with y’all.

And for those of you who have no idea what the Ice Stone disaster of 2009 was here’s a brief recap.  During the 2009 Love is in the Air event there existed a bug.  A fairly annoying, then amusing, then annoying again bug.  For a few days, at random intervals there would be a server wide emote that said, “The Ice Stone has melted!”  Nobody had any idea what was going on.  Most people had no idea that the Ice Stone was related to summoning  Lord Ahune, and those that did were confused because the midsummer event was months away.  So, people all across the internets started coming up with various theories and amusing jokes about it.  This post is my take on it.

Bulletin from the Gnomeregan Gnews Gnetwork

We regret to inform you that as of 2:35pm, EKST (eastern kingdom standard time), the Ice Stone has melted. Not 24 hours from the appearance of the first signs on this catastrophe, the denizens of Azeroth are beginning to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. Confusion and fear hang in the air; rumor and conjecture abound; the one thing we do know is where the mighty Ice Stone once stood lies only a puddle.

Reports have been coming in all afternoon and we at GGG have learned that the Frozen Sea has risen nearly 20 feet, flooding coastal towns all across Northrend. Valiance Keep and the first two levels of the Warsong hold now lie underwater. The survivors that were able to flee inland are beginning to look for their loved ones. Members of the Cenarion Circle with help from the Taunka’le and the Tuskarr have set up refugee camps on what is now the new Northrend coast. Sadly the basin of Sholazar has been completely flooded.

Northrend is not the only region to be hit. The dramatic shift in temperature has caused wild weather fluctuations all across Azeroth. Torrential rain has hit the Barrens and floods have traveled as far south as Tanaris. Fires have sprung up in the forrests of Elwyn and Duskwood. There are even rumors that the rise in global temperature has begun to melt the Frozen Throne itself! The Lich King could not be reached for comment.

Likely it will be many months before the climate settles to a more natural state. In the meantime a call has gone out to the leaders of the Horde and the Alliance to work together to heal the lands. However the current political atmosphere does not bode well for this plea. King Varian Wrynn was quoted as saying, “I don’t care if that damn Ice Rock or whatever has melted. So what if the sea is rising? The Alliance has a navy. The Horde doesn’t. Suck it.” When asked if he had any reply Thrall said simply, “Your mother. kek.”

We were able to contact High Tinker Geblin Mequatorke and he has promised to put his best Gnomes on building an artificial Ice Stone–just as soon as they finish taking back Gnomeregan. He was quoted as saying that it, “should be any day now.”

For now all we can do is watch over the Puddle Stone. And make sure it doesn’t freeze.

End Bulletin

“[Insert clever sign off phrase here]”

~Fizz

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